BAH HUM BUG!

Title Edit: (courtesy of Jgoat [spam email])

"Lead your boner to Leadership! Enhance her sweet grotto with Love Paints!"

I was watching the Scrooge with the kiddies while I was playing some PLO yesterday afternoon. Ok, so they were watching and I was paying less than optimum attention to the movie while I shoved draw after draw after draw that just couldn't hit. I played some of the 12 days of Christmas as well on Bodog.

Both times, I more than quintupled my stack within the first hour to be among the chip leaders. And both times I got it in good/ bad against a like size stack only to go busto within 3 hands.

I played the 4pm $100 buyin and the 4:30pm $10 buyin. I didn't really read up on why the 12 days exist, or the what it offers, but it was an excuse to play a good sized field on Bodog and so , wtf, I did.

The losing hand in the $100 turned out to be a jam from the bb when I held AA. He jammed with JJ. This made no sense to me because we both had like 12k in chips with the blinds at like 50/100 (or less). I only raised standard and everyone else folded. He shoved. I called. He caught.

The losing hand in the $10 was nothing like the first one. I only had AK. But the same scenario from a completely different player. Again, he was in the BB. I was feeling sort of a kinship to this guy though because we were both tearing up a retard in chat. He had an avatar of a rapper I think. Some famous celebrity, but none the less, a black celebrity. The offending idiot kept calling this guy the "n" word.

This kinda pissed me off a little because it was unprovoked and unwarranted. The guy just kept talking about how good he was and that this one particular player was (insert any ethnic racial slur you can thinnk of because he used them all). I should have saved the chat because it was priceless. But the victim decided to shove on me to my standard raise from the bb (again), and I called. Snap called really. He shows QQ, I never catch, and am down to 2k in chips. The mouth started up again this time on me, and assumed I was jewish. At least he was calling me anti-semetic names. I guess my phillies avatar was his deciding factor. Had to be. he had nothing else to go on.

So of course I stipulate to his assumptions and start giving him 5,000 years worth of oppression and tyranny. Then I go into some googled hebrew prayers. The whole table got a kick out of it, and I guess he got tired of it cause he just stopped bothering. He seemed to be pretty adamant about the fact that he was justified, correct, or just plain within his own moral compass as he stated everything so "as a matter of factly".

He coulnd't figure out why I would snap call with AK. So I told him that $10 was too "cheap" a tourny to be playing for me and I'd rather double to the lead right then and there instead of fold for another 3 hours, and bubble. Plus I had hannukah presents to open!!!

The wife called for dinner and I shoved on a stack that couldn't possibly fold any two with Ad8d. I didnt stick around to see if I won or lost as three others flat called. I assume I lost. Dinner was soooo sweet!

I just came back from the 4 year olds christmas party at school. The little tykes did a little singing and ate some cookies. She goes to a catholic school (as did I) and there was this wreath with candles on it. I remember it instantly, but couldn't recall the name or what it represented. Apparently I have been a bad catholic. I asked the wife as quietly as I could, "what's that thing called again?" "It's called an advent wreath you dope", she replied rather tersely.

"Oh yeah", I replied (as I picked my nose, ad scratched my ass simultaneously). Some of the other parents overheard our little conversation. This is what I saw.

One woman standing there, mouth open, seemingly appaulded. Another guy standing there, looking at his wife excitedly, pointing at me, as if to say, "SEE!!! I'm not the only one". And a teenage girl giggling, well, like a teenaged girl.

I should have the State of the Union post finished sometime this week and will post between Christmas and New Years. I'z gots some goot infoMazion that I think deems posting. And I don't think it's stuff you'll just happen across because it's like that stuff that no one likes to talk about if they are in fact employed by a provider. But I also think it will be constructive for all players to read and use in their assesment of how we will play, or what we will play in the future. Some of it is pretty standard stuff. More of it will be pretty surprising, I reckon, which is why I want to post it.

So, All of you fine folk out there have a wonderful Christmas, and to my fellow jewish bretheren, Happy Hannukah!, and to anyone else who may celebrate some other form of the Holiday, I hope you enjoy yours as much as anyone else. It's a good time of year to settle down, have fun, and enjoy the company of friends and family. Oh and you Canadians kick the shit out of each other on boxing day!