Tuesday, June 17, 2008

On my command... unleash hell!

I sit here at 8:30am with the kids and breakfast and chewing. I have it somewhere in me to really want to quit but it ain't happening. PokerDegen gave me some advice on going cold turkey, and I think he may be right. But to date it hasn't gone real well.

Today, I use the excuse of dealing with the kiddies by myself (and brother-in-law) since the wive's are stateside at her brothers Mother-in-laws funeral with the rest of the immediate family.

The kids are sucking the life out of me. Mine and the others are all fighting, best friends, and fighting again in a vicious battle for supremacy over whether they watch Caillou, Dora, or spongebob. Or who gets to wear the purple hat vs the red hat, and so on.

The 10 year old is staying clear, relegated to the pre-beach hours of ninendo DS, staying out of the way of the carnage. But all the while laughing at me secretively behind her back. As a matter of fact, I don't even think the thing is even on at times as I see her peer over the screen in enjojyment as I change yet another diaper, while refereeing a fight between my 4 year old and her 3 year old cousin. (both girls... If women are the rake, then little girls are the toke)

I played in a bodog $10 last night with Tragedy. 250+ runners and I took 3rd. As soon as I went out the boy woke up and decided he wanted to go to the pool. (1:30am). It got to the point where he was going to find out how pleasant that pool would have felt in a thunder storm if he didn't pipe down. Thats my credo... when all else fails, "you want it, you got it!"

But he went from whiny siren to fast asleep when the powers that be saw me walk on to the deck with him. Call it intervention.

The wife and sister and brother all come back late tonight. I hope they make it a fast trip. the weather has cooled considerably after the storm last night, going from the 90's to the high 70's today. The could be a blessing in disguise, or it could prove quite troublesome.

The beach is a great baby sitter, but with cool temperatures and no wind, the flys are certainly going to be out in full force. Probably not a good day for combing.

Without beach activites, pent up little urchins will be hard to entertain and I am preparing for a full frontal assault from the little ones. This is war people. Its all about tactical assaults. I am a pretty good operative though when I have time to prepare, so the plans are being drawn up for the expected attack. Somewhere along the day, I hope the tide will turn and in the end, we can claim victory.

The ordinance for this evolution will include, but not be limited to:

Play station - that should keep the 7-13 years olds occupied and happy in case I need to turn them into an alliance. This could backfire however if they are interupted in the middle of a quest for a high score.

DVD's - This will be tricky. Finding one that can be agreed upon by all parties will be difficult but worth the 2 hours of silence if succesful.

Pool - The pool is heated so the temps wont be an issue, however, it entails my time watching and standing guard. Depends on the moods of the enemy at that point, and if who gets the yellow noodle vs the blue one doesn't rile them up a whole bunch. Probably a last ditch effort.

Naps - If that happens, I am ruler of the world. Probably a poor attempt at diplomacy, but who knows. Maybe the sun will rise in the west, and the moon will fall out of the sky, and pigs will fly, and that will happen.

ICE CREAM! - This would buy a lot of bargaining power. The issue however is once the popsicles are done, the power of negotiation goes with it. Probably -EV, since the high commanders, when finding out that the enemies were given ice cream at 11am will view this as weak and shallow on the part of our command.

Trip to the playground - again, this would be likened to dropping a daisy cutter from 50,000ft. It would quiet the ranks for a while, but also entail participation from us (plenty of collateral damage), so we will see how that goes. It certainly doesnt guarantee submission either, as it could just be moving the battlefield if someone doesn't get what they want.

The next 12 hours will see a victor for sure. Either way we expect high casualties, but with suffering comes peace. Strength and honor!


Poker Brian said...

Ryan Howard is the man. That is all.

Instant Tragedy said...

War is hell son.

You have to fight unfightable fights, hold that line and hope that Charlie doesn't get you.

We'll lay down cover fire and hope to extract you for Operation Chip and a Chair ASAP.

Nice play last night. I just couldn't get any cards. I decided to just pull out Poker Academy Pro and start to work again...

ReLearning on how to play


All Hail!

BamBam said...

Keep the one wanting to watch spongebob, well within your view.

It's been reported that while watching the show backwards and standing on your head, that spongebob can actually be found to be singing some old sesame street lyrics or something.

There could be potential in that kid as a real trouble maker!


pokerDegen said...

Crazy battle you'll be going through; can only imagine trying to 'relax' in that environment!

Oh, btw, when I quit nicotine there were no kids around to run interference.

Good luck with all of it!

Evy said...

LOL @ brian and tragedy

I have other suggestions:

#1) Benadryl...unless of course your children are the few that actually get hyped up by the shit.

#2) Take them to Dutch WOnderland. I took my kid there for the first time over the weekend. Pretty cool place for like 2 - 8 year old range. Lines are small, rides are cool, they don't jack you on the admission price OR the food. And they got different range of shows from fairy princess bullshit to Thomas. They also have a water park. That would at least tire them out and kill several hours.

#3) Combine #1 and #2. Do #2, and then about 30 minutes before you plan to leave hit them up with #1. THey should fall asleep in the car on the way home.

SUre, they might not want to go to bed at normal time tonight, but who cares, your wife will be home by then.

And that's the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so.

OhCaptain said...

Going cold turkey is a bitch. I quit smokes 4 years ago cold turkey. You have to really want it bad and realize that you just have to tell yourself no. No excuses. Every slip is just a lie to yourself that you don't want to quit.

Believe it or not, every time I had a craving, I just kept repeating to myself "I will never smoke again." Over and over and over until the craving went away and you know what, eventually it did.

I also had an ample supply of chocolate covered peanuts, but the key is realizing smoke/chewing is a choice. You choose to do it. Choose not to.

Lots of luck. Let me know if you need any help.

Pud's Poker said...

Cold Turkey is the best way to do it, I stopped when my ex became pregnant with my little lad and ittook about a month of craving but then all was well in the world.

Don't try stopping with the little terrors running around, you'll want to do them or yourself in!