Friday, November 13, 2009

UM... OK

So this guy sent this thing to me and was apparently sending it as a joke. I read it and was baffled.

The question was.... Why do men have nipples?

This was the first part of the article:

Why do men have nipples? By Dr. Mehran Sam PhD

Why do men have nipples?

Humans are mammals like cats and monkeys and similar to other
mammalian species only females generally nurse the young through their
nipples with the milk prodcued in their mammary glands. So do men need
nipples? or why men have nipples in the first place?

It's a less known fact that men's breasts and nipples are just as
functional as the female counterparts. If they take or for dietary
reasons produce some extra doses of female hormones, men can also
lactate just like females do. It has been suggested that male
breastfeeding can even lead to emotional bonding between a child and
the father as well.

So why do men have nipples? For the exact same reason they have two ears
and two eyes: because they have been designed and created as such by,
as we Raelians believe, our extraterrestrial scientific creators, the

Um... OK... Let's stop there. WTF is a Raelian?? I think I heard something about these folks on a Stern show many moons ago. I'm thought it was a joke.

Many believe that the similarities among species, like dogs, cats, and
humans, all having mammalian characteristics, are the indication that
all species come from the same ancestor through an evolutionary

Yes indeed we also believe there has been an evolutionary process. But
it was in the minds of the scientists who came to the earth from
another planet. They first created simple life forms and then over
time developed and evolved their techniques to create cats, monkeys
and eventually human beings in their own likeness.

Of course only the creators themselves know the exact reason for their
choices and why they maintained the male form similar to a female's in
the chest area but it's not unreasonable for us to speculate. A team
of scientists who become experts in creating mammalian forms, males
and females, do not reinvent the wheel each time they want to create a
new species. The Elohim scientists perhaps only wanted to improve
their methods without a need for a great genetic modification moving
from one species to another as removing nipples in males would require
such a change.

That's it... I've had enough. This is for real people. There are folks out there that hardheartedly believe and live their lives as if we are a creation of Aliens. I guess it's not so hard to believe considering that there are a host of people who believe we descended from monkeys, or a rib from some dude (or woman... can't remember first grade theology).

never mind... just passing the time.

*and people think 2012 is a joke. **SIGH


Astin said...

Best part about the Raelians? They're Canadian.

They also drive around in a Winnebago, handing out condoms to teenagers as a means of engaging them in conversation to try and lure them into the cult. They came by my (Catholic) high school once, and the administration had a fit. The students thought it was an anti-birth-control stance, but it was actually anti-cult, as they knew full well who these nutjobs were.

SirFWALGMan said...

Dude if you breast fed your kid you would fucking scar him for life.. SO DO NOT DO IT! STEP BACK FROM THE RAIL!

It is obvious why men have nipples -- So women can suck on em and bite em and make em feel good. Jesus.

smokkee said...

obviously, its so we can rub $$$ on our titays.


Tom McMenamin said...

My take on the whole "why do men have nipples" quandry is simply so they have somewhere to put the clothespins when they're hanging wash. Now that statement alone creates yet another question....why in the hell is a man hanging laundry ? Isn't that a womans job ?