Friday, August 1, 2008

The cop shit his pants! The cop shit his pants!!

So yesterday, there was some news from the Borgata Poker Room.

Read here...

I hear about this later in the day. No one knew the specifics other than the guy was 400 lbs., he smelled, and the players asked him to leave, the floor asked him to leave, and he decided to file a complaint with the gaming commission because he felt embarrassed.

So, I, like a good detective, made some calls to friends that are there almost every single day. And I got lucky with the first phone call.

This guy tells me, as he's laughing hysteically, that he was actually a table away from this train wreck, and that their table was dying from the stench. The guy not only smelled because he hadn't showered. The guy smelled because he shit his pants. It wasn't just BO.

The floor was called over because the players got no satisfaction from the man because he ignored their pleas for his departure. When the floor came over, my guy tells me that they did everything possible to be as nice to this guy as they could.

He argued about having to leave, and that if they were willing to publicly embarrass him, that they owed him a free room to clean himself up. From my buddy's perspective, the guy had no idea that he soiled himself.

He also stated that the floor personnel was as accomodating as possible. They made it clear that there was no intent to embarrass, just an intent to do what was for the good of the table, AND the room.

Now, this guy gets all jammed up, ignoring the big smash in his pants, and goes directly to the gaming commission and files a report. I also heard something about more press in the NY papers and such. I haven't scanned the internets yet this morning to find out if anything was actually printed about it in any other paper but I thinks its obvious, that if it does go that far, the only one embarrassing the guy is himself.

The one complaint I had about the Borgata poker room had nothing to do with the Borgata. It had to do with the animals in there going ot the bathroom, and leaving without washing their hands. Now we got a guy using his pants as is own personal toilet.

All of this has given me an idea though... Poker Diapers! I know it must be really hard to get up when your ono a rush. So why do it? We can market them as ... hmmm?

Any Suggestions on the name of this new product would be awesome.

And by the way... The first person who can name the movie that the title of this post came from, gets $5 shipped to their FT aacount!


TenMile said...

The Pope of Greenwich Village (1984) - Memorable quotesPaulie: Charlie! They took my thumb! Paulie: The cop shit his pants! Hey, hey, the cop shit his pants! ... Browse titles with quotes by letter ...

Anonymous said...

What a freaking classic story!

I think I Sharted!

Pope of Greenwich Village, The (1984) Bitches!


HighOnPoker said...

I like Dueces for the diaper name. This way, when someone says, "What's that smell?" you can reply, "I think its that guy. He's sitting on a pair of Dueces."

I think a poker catheter would be just as useful.

lightning36 said...

I kind of like "Azzes Full" myself ..

RaisingCayne said...


Poker Brian said...

No-Limit Hold'ems

Shit as much as you like, we keep you playing.

Brad Oyler said...

"You're pickin on me cause I'm FAT!" What a classic line of shit...