That'll put a little pucker in your pooder!

So this chic walks into a bar with a dog under one arm, and a salami under the other....

Well at least that's what the last two days have felt like to me. One long unfinished joke, that you know will turn out the same as 100 other horrible jokes that all end with the same borish punchline, just told differently.

Anywho, based on the failure of my attempt to be on BDR on Monday night, and the ensuing uneccesary carnage to certain electronic appliances, I ventured out in the afternoon to purchase a shiny new headphones and microphone.

Buy, install, and go. BOOOOOOOOOOOOM. Plug and play is gold. Except its never plug and play. Its steps 1 thru 57 to negotiate the certain installed softwares of the OP that came with the unit you purchased from Dell, IBM, HP, or whatever non mac form of hardware becomes your poison.

With a little help from iif's I'm rockin and rolling and workin'. I log into BDR and there is buddy all happy and rarin' to go. Accept there is a problem with my mike. It sounds a little tinny.

Oh well, I can't hear it so fuck it. In the meantime we are 5 hands into the Bodog. I noticed as I was eff'in around with the sound bars as instructed by Buddy that I had aces, that were promptly folded because of my inability to hit the raise , call, fold buttons in a timely manner. No worries. It was early and I probably steal the 30 in blinds anyway, or better yet... go completely busto. Call it Karma.

The 6th hand, I am paying attention, having resided in the fact that I will sound like shit, and bother buddy all night with a certain buzzing in his ear. I have A9 in the bb. folds to Peaker (sb) who makes it 90. I consider this an auto steal, because peaker is sooo loose, and decide a flat call is in order.

Flop comes A 9 x. BOOOOOM!! Of course he bets and I just smooth call. Turn comes another A. BINGO! This time I raise his bet with what I thought was a pot bet, but couldn't tell because of the fantastic job Bodog does with their poker software. I think for a second that he might have any ace and that I hope no over card hits the river. Of course a Queen comes screaming onto the board, and I think to myself, outloud, as buddy would attest to, FUCK.

Peaker checks. Of course. I decide that my Aces over nines is gold, and decide to bet out to try to get value. Of course he jams, and I have to think here to fold. Only I dont have much left, and if he has AQ, so be it. Let me help him get a quick heads start on the rest of the smallish field.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! He tables AQ and IGH. Oh well, so be it, another 15 minutes before the skills game.

I had a last longer with Fishman again, and I knew this was going to be tough. You can't play a normal gae of stud with every swingin' dick out there chasing every single two pair, 3 to a draw, A high board. It just doesn't work. But I survived Fish, and grab my prop bet.

I finally exit when I lose 2/3rd's of my stack to a guy who obviously decided to go to the felt with split 3's to my wired J's. I turned two pair and he hit his set on 6th. Sooo rigged.

I shove the rest in with QKA double suited, but no love.

We picked horses on the dank show for both the Bodog and the Skillz game. Nuts, to me as I picked both eventual winners.

Tongiht should be fun. Mookie is alwasy gold and I hope to see over 150 runners. We will see.

Congrats to Mook on his 18th child (whatever), and well wishes to the whole family, including brother brother brother sister brother brother sister dog dog cat and wifey.