Friday, January 18, 2008

Neighbor > Wife

Ok, so we've been married just a little over 11 years, and together for over 15. I've lived in my current house now for just about 3.5 years. my neighbor has known me for just about that much as well. There's the set up...

Mrs. Riggs belongs to a MOTS (Mothers of Toddlers something) group. I think it may even be MOTTS, but whatever. The point is that they get together every other week and have some little pow wow involving recipes, they have guest speakers on everything from marital advice, child rearing, to financial bull shit, etc. etc. etc. Moreso just a way to meet moms in the same situation you are in and bitch to each other because they know their husbands aren't listening.

Like Howard Stern would say, a bunch of yentas showing up in their suburbans and oddyses, ditching their kids for two hours on some teenage babysitter, and comparing to everyone else how much shittier their life is than the next. You know with the kids and all...

I digress.... The meat here is that wifey brings home a two page questionare, which when I first glanced at it, thought it was something my 7 year old did for her 2cnd grade spelling test. It had crayon drawn around the sides, and I wasn't too interested in its content because of things I had on my own mind. Just getting home from coaching a basketball game, and on crazy Ref Tilt, knowing i probably have 15 emails in the inbox that need attention, etc. etc. etc.

She lays it down in front of me and says, grade this. I'll skip the part where I forget about it for two hours, and she gets all jammed up and we argue, blah blah blah...

So I grab this thing and its basically a how well do you know your partner type thing, with questions of what size clothes does he/she wear, pants, shirt, shoes.... favorite color, favorite tv show, favorite thing to do while relaxed, and so on.

Total of 45 questions, and she has answered all of them. Waiting for my perusal. Now let me make this clear. These are objective questions. There is only one answer. (unless you are a woman, specifically my wife)

For example. What is your Favorite Color? she answered blue, I said no green, ans she argues that well, you always wear blue, and your truck is blue and you once told me that blue AND green are your favorite colors so I'm taking that as correct. Another objective question... your shoe size? I'm an 11. She put down 10. I said look at my shoe here. and she argues. I always buy you tens. I said you haven't bought me shoes in like, ever. at all.

ok, so now we move onto the other questions, about favorite thing to do when relaxing, favorite Tv show, favorite day of the week, and favorite book. These are her answers:

play online poker
Friday night (poker night)
anything poker

A total of 30/45 of her answers were poker related. When asked what my favorite food was she answered Poker Soup (ok kidding, but you get the point).

It was obvious my wife relates everything I do, and obviously my complete existence, to Poker. And apparently has an issue with it.

I go through the rest of the test and she gets 24 of 45 questions corrrect. Which by the litte answer key on the left stated that we are complete strangers.

Now its my turn to answer. I kinda dig this shit too 'cause I know everything about her. Her tells are worse than 30 year old noob coming into the borgata thinking he's gold because he read two books, and watched a few shows, took down a $20 tournament at his buddies house, and now has 2 years of experience under his belt...

again I digress...

I go on to score a perfect 45 out of 45. BOOOOOOOOOOOOM! NUTS!.... Well, that is 45/45 if she had the same likes as when we were just married. Its amazing how 11 years can change a chic with kids and such. Example.. where is our favorite place to shop for clothes: I put Express. She laughed and said its a mens clothing store now, but it used to be

Seriously though, all of my answers where correct if they applied to her life 11-15 years ago. SO we sat and discussed what these results mean. For me, it basically meant that I have ignored her pretty much since she said I do. Which isn't entirely too far from the truth really. I mean a career, kids, business opportunities that consume me for months on end. It made sense. And her fault as well. She had the kids and other things as well that just seem to get in between any realtionship. Status Quo type stuff for marriage and children.

For her... She really thinks that my life is made up of poker, and that is it. When I stand back and look at it from her side, it kinda may seem that way. Online most nights of the week, the business, the meetings in Vegas, AC, or some casino. And the fact that there are live games whenever I get the urge, which is pretty much most of the time.

So, we have set a plan to change that for both of us. Now, that doesn not mean that I cut back in anyway on poker related things. I still have a business to run. But it means she will look at the other things I am doing moreso instead of just the poker. As far as my part in figuring her shit out, well, thats a little harder. But its on the list for the '08 resolutions, and should be easy to figure out. :)

On a side note, my neighbor came over and looked at it and decided to answer for me. he went 40/45. Wifey said we should get married. I told her if that did it for me, I would be the luckiest guy in the world...


BamBam said...

Funny !

I thankfully had no crayon quiz. But the discussion did happen and we aired a few things out. (and that was a good thing)

Later that night, (Wednesday) I make a gesture and back out of the mookie. I decide it'll just be the two of us and a good movie or something. I open the wine, let it breathe and get the couch set up for a good make up cuddle.

I look over..... There's Pebbles on FullTilt at a SnG. I get the "What?" look and start re-reading Harrington.

Hilarious creatures these women.

Anonymous said...

Poker Soup!!!!

I love that $hyt.

Chad C said...

Time to quit poker.... Wives + Family > Cards :)

jamyhawk said...

I just laughed my ass off reading this. No offense to how serious it was for you, but from the outside, its some funny stuff.

Great post.

Riggstad said...

LOL.. Serious? No way. After she yelled at me she poked me in the eyes like Mo does Shemp. BOOP!

Thankfully, aside from all things intrusive to our time together, we still do really dig each other.

I'm lucky to have her!

Corey said...

Is this what I have to look forward too?

Good Read

snakster said...

Chad's right...except for the quit poker part. One can recognize the need to be more a part of his family yet still have time to partake in the things he likes. It's a yin and yang kind of thing.

Balance grasshopper.

Anonymous said...

Well that's it then...

Leave the wife and kids and Go Pro!


Schaubs said...


Hang tough.

Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Although my wife still does not love my poker play and never will due to certain aspects of my own and her own upbringing, we went through something similar a couple of years ago. When I really looked into her issues with my poker play, what it turned out it *really* came down to was not so much my "obsession" with poker, but rather the fact that I have a hobby that I am really into, have met people through and have had some financial success at to boot, while she did not have a similar hobby. That was the real issue at least for my wife. Once we worked on some ways to address that for her, things got noticeably better IMO.

Just a thought about the whole wives and poker thing. I definitely feel ya on the constant struggle of it all.