Thursday, February 5, 2009

The machine is still on Moira ~

SO it goes like this...

Every morning, I drop the kids off at school, and stop at Wawa. Wawa is a convenience store chain that has gone from an obscure dairy farm to one of the largest C-store chains in the country. I think they celebrated their 1billionth cup of coffee sold or 1 billionth dollar or something like that last few years.

It's not your average chain, either. They sell fresh deli items, and do a kick ass business making sandwhiches, hoagies, hot subs, etc. They also sell gas.

I like the place because of it's cleanliness and complete and utter size really. Plus there is one on almost every other corner, so they are conveniet. But their coffee ranks about 5th on the list behind 7-11 and Amy-Lynn doughnuts.

Because it's clean and fast and convenient, I suck up the lesser coffee and call it a morning. But there is something else that bugs the shit out of me. When you get your change, they give you the paper first, then lay the coins on top of the paper. You are usually in a big honkin' hurry because there are 37 other people right on top of you realizing they must do their part in keeping the assembly line of checking out under 7 seconds a customer.

In addition, you usually have one hand holding a coffee AND a bag that may or may not contain a newspaper, a breakfast product, and or a can of tobacco. Of course, your keychain is dangling by your little finger as well, as you put your free hand out to accept the change.

Of course they slide the paper into your hand now, and since you can't open your hand to accept change they lay it on top of the paper. Now you can't clutch, and the shit usually goes all over the place.

It's like watching an assembly line of buicks being made and the windsheild wiper guy is trying to install the blades while the wipers are moving. Totall sucks the life out of me, and for 8 years going, this has been my daily routine. I just thought that today I would finally allow you into my obsessive compulsive brain.

I had a dream last night that I was at my Wawa, and was the only one in there. It was cloudy and things were sort of in slow motion as I walked up to the cashier.. A comely, young little lass with soft blonde hair, flowing down her shoulders smirked at me. I placed my items on the counter. She entered the items into the register and asked for $2.49. I handed her a five and as I watched my open palm, still in slow motion, she placed two one dollar bills in my open hand. I grimaced, and sneared as I watched her place the two quarters and one penny on top of the paper bills, and suddenly, everything went into normal speed.

My head snapped up! I let out a loud yelp and took a fighting stance, products and money flying all over the place. I jumped up in one swift move onto the counter and dropped and axe kick right on top of her head. I yelled again as I struck her head and watched her fall to the floor. No less than 10 deli personnel came running out behind the deli all wielding those stupid box cutter knives and salami sticks. All of them wore those little change dispensers a'la the Good Humor man.

I jumped off the counter and they circled me, deciding to come two at a time. I threw a flurry of roundhouse kicks, and ridge hands, dispensing all of them in short order. I looked around and mouthed, "put the coins in my hand first", but came out sounding more like, "You wanna fight? Fight me!"

Then I woke up.


BamBam said...

Crazy thought I know BUT......

Have you discussed this with the cashier that you see every single day during your daily routine?

Yeah they work at the Wawa so, the chances don't look that great that you'll get anywhere. But I think it's worth a shot.
I had a Timmies cashier that insisted on placing the sipping portion of my Coffee cup lid, directly over the seam of the cup itself. Can you say dribble cup? She did this for every single cup she ever poured for me! We talked and miraculously, it stuck. She's never done it again.

Oh and rating Wawa Coffe at fifth can only mean one thing. There's only five places to buy Coffee !

:p Blech !

Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Wawa chicken salad hoagie with bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickles, salt and pepper. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Maybe time for another run back to the Philly area to pick one of dem badboys up!

Drizztdj said...

My only regret at The Bash was not getting to a WaWa.


smokkee said...

wp aggro monkey

Wolfshead said...


you don't have to say lettuce and tomatoes when you say hoagie. If they ain't already there you ain't got a hoagie, you got a sandwich

1Queens Up1 said...

miss WaWas...